Ali | Trained Surrogate Partner

What is Surrogate Partner Therapy?

What talk therapy explores in words, Surrogate Partner Therapy explores in action. With the support of your team: a trained Surrogate Partner and a licensed talk therapist; you will engage in healing experiences that help you grow in the areas of relationship, touch, body image, and intimacy.

Read About Surrogate Partner Therapy

The New York Times 2023

Therapy Where the Clothes Come Off (Sometimes)

“By combining talk therapy with elements of physical touch, surrogate partners assist people who struggle with sex and intimacy… Surrogate partner therapy typically begins with a referral from a talk therapist, who first evaluates whether someone is a good candidate for this kind of treatment. Sessions are typically held weekly, in one- to two-hour meetings until all three agree that the therapy is complete. ‘If any kind of sexual contact is included in the work, it’s done after months of other types of work with a licensed therapist overseeing it,’ Nicole Ananda said.”

“Savage Love” Advice Column 2018

The Truth About Surrogate Partner Therapy

“Sexual surrogates are legit… but please don’t call them sexual surrogates. Sex can and does sometimes occur in the later stages of Surrogate Partner Therapy, but it doesn’t always and it’s not the goal—healing is. ‘[The Surrogate Partner and client] may start by sitting in opposite chairs and just talking. At some point, they might sit and hold hands, practice relaxation techniques, and focus on simple sensations. In the next session, they might touch each other’s faces with their hands. By having these repeated safe experiences, in a context where there’s no pressure, and consent is emphasized, and the patient is in control,” said Vena Blanchard, “someone can learn to manage their anxiety, and their prior negative experiences are replaced with positive new experiences.’”

BetterHelp 2025

The Benefits of Surrogate Partner Therapy

“Although many individuals may refer to this process as ‘sex surrogacy,’ it does not always involve sexual intercourse or touching. Instead, it is a type of therapy unique to each client. Some clients may come to treatment seeking cuddling, practicing communication skills, and education about their bodies… According to the Surrogate Partner Collective, surrogate partner therapy is legal and ethical. Before a client is paired with a surrogate partner outside of a therapeutic session, therapists ensure they would be a healthy candidate. If the client does not understand consent, the purpose of the therapy, or is looking only for sex work with a sex worker, they could be disqualified for the treatment.”

Jessie O’Brien 2018

Surrogate Partners’ Healing Touch

"Surrogate partners do not work with people in relationships. Other types of treatment that includes both people are suggested for couples. The surrogate’s job is to be close to their clients, to build trust that allows for intimacy at the client’s pace. Nothing happens spontaneously and the exercises are customized for each individual… barriers such as communication skills, self-awareness, body image, overcoming shame, and cultural conditioning are addressed before intercourse is even an option. As the client-surrogate relationship grows, this may gradually lead up to intercourse if it is determined to be benificial. This creates a delicate professional boundary, which is why a three-person team – the surrogate, the client, and a licensed therapist – is necessary. ‘The sex therapist sits in the office and does the psychological work, and the surrogate partner does the hands-on work. They work in cooperation with each other,’ said Boulder-area sex therapist Dr. Tara Galeano.”